Sunday, December 4th, 2022 14:46:08

Unclean Canine & Feline Feelings

Updated: December 20, 2014 10:15 am

ALMOST everybody complains that the world is going to the dogs, but how many do anything about it? Well, the Iranians have taken 4/7 the challenge. News comes that Iran’s law-makers plan to pass a law under which dog lovers in that country face a punishment of more than 70 whip lashes and a fine of more than the equivalent of two lakh ruppes for keeping pet dogs or walking them in public, because Islamic custom decrees that dogs are unclean. Now Satiricus, being a Hindu ignoramus, cannot comprehend the complexities of this Quran versus canine controversy, but being a curious communal cuss he cannot help wondering—Are Iranian Islam and Indian Islam two different Islams? For only the other day Darul Islam of Deoband declared that cleanliness has top priority in Islam and yet complimented Prime Minister Modi’s Clean India campaign and extended support to it despite the campaign being dismally devoid of a holy jihad on unclean dogs. Would that not mean Indian Islam perilously going to the unclean dogs? Oh well, this infantile infidel lacks the intelligence to understand the enigma that is Islam.

At the same time, Satiricus has a question: If the world going to the dogs is bad, would it not be good for the world to go to the natural enemies of dogs—the cats? Well, lately they do seem to be acquiring eminence in human affairs—at least the affairs of American humans. For the other day a guy there broke up with his girl friend over a series of text messages that blamed her for a range of reasons including “you are rude to my cat”. See? Satiricus has heard about ‘catty’ women, but perhaps this particular female did not care enough for feline feelings or even lacked the good manners to mew courteously to the cat in question. That was certainly a serious lapse deserving a divorce before marriage.

Fortunately, apart from this inexcusable exception, the world does seem to be going to cats. At least the western world. For a new type of restaurant called ‘cat cafe’ is spreading internationally. These cat cafes are now open in London, Paris, Vienna, and now in America, where a “cat tow café” has opened in the city of Oakland. It has cats happing or stretching in the sun, and customers can play with them for a charge of ten dollars an hour. Well, now, that is certainly a feline feast of food for thought. So here’s wishing for a world going unhappily to dogs changing course for going happily to cats.

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