Thursday, December 8th, 2022 22:55:01

Uncalled For Research

Updated: January 3, 2015 3:40 pm

WONDERS never cease, it seems to Satiricus. One of the latest of them is an Islamic think-tank. Yes, incredible as it seems, such things apparently exist, and one of them is called Shibli Academy. If newspaper reports are to be believed, “it specialized in research on Islamic learning”. This Hindu ignoramus is flummoxed. Why, oh why, does Islamic learning need search and research when all of it is there for all in the Quran and the Sharia? In fact this unlettered communal columnist is assured that nothing but just an Arabic dictionary is needed to search and find that ‘Islam’ means ‘peace’. So there is literal proof that it is peace that is raging all over the Middle East and Africa. In fact those who are waging this peace in Iraq and Syria have specifically pointed out that they have righteously revived Sharia by reviving slavery. So why this unnecessary, even uncalled for, activity called Islamic research?

The other wonder that dumb-struck Satiricus was that there are intellectuals in Pakistan. Again, if this press report is to be believed (a truly tough call), this Shibli Academy recently held a function for which “we had invited 15 people from Pakistan. All of them scholars, intellectuals and men of standing.” Well, now, what do you know? Satiricus does not know, but this na-pak nitwit would like to know some fabulous facts about Pakistan.

He would like to know if the scholars among them wrote the history books for Pakistani schools according to which Pakistan was founded 1400 years ago by Mohammed bin Kasim. He would like to know if the intellectuals among them devised the alphabet according to which A is for Allah, B is for Bandook, and J is for Jihad. And he would also like to know those “men of standing” at whose behest the blasphemy law for burning unbelievers is practised with such magnificent madness that a Pakistani journalist writing in an Indian paper recently described his own country as a “nation gone mad”. Unfortunately, Satiricus could not acquire this pak knowledge from Pakistanis as they were not given visas by the abominably anti-secular government of Modi. And in any case Satiricus, being an illiterate journalist, is far from a scholar, too much of a dimwit to be even an apology of an intellectual, and as for being a “man of standing”, Satiricus’s “standing” in India can never equal the standing in Pakistan of Hafiz Saeed, for whom the government of Pakistan arranged special trains for his terrorists.

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