The True Patriot

India that is Bharat

SATIRICUS is an Indian. And he likes being an Indian. So he supposed that makes him a patriot. At least as good a patriot as the average Indian-in-the-street. And he also supposed his patriotism need not depend on what additional ism he professed—Hinduism or Islamism or Secularism. And there, alas, he has been proved wrong. A nitwitty nonentity that he is, he has been shown by a Bollywood celebrity that he, Satiricus, can lay no claim to patriotism until and unless he is a devotee of secularism. In fact the said celeb has exposed Satiricus to be a criminal cuss. For, to quote his memorable verdict, “Not being secular is the worst kind of crime that you can do as a patriot.”

Oh my God ! What an ungodly ignoramus is Satiricus! He had thought there was nothing wrong in being a patriot in spite of being a Hindu. He thought he could be a Hindu patriot as well as an Indian patriot because India has had a Hindu history of at least 10,000 years. But then, that history is now history. So why rake up those bad old days in the new delightful days—especially when that India of a horrid past is presently a pretty patchwork of three very pakparts? But are the BJP boors capable of understanding and appreciating this synthetic secularism of Hindu India? Alas, no. So they are saying this celebrity lives in India but his soul is in Pakistan. But isn’t that as it should be? After all, his body is where his cash is, his soul is where his Quran is.