The Dead Language
ALL-ROUND ignorance of all things communal being the cardinal principle of being a secular columnist, Satiricus has meticulously tried to keep himself away from any undesirable understanding of Sanskrit, the language of communalists-cum-Hindus. While this is good for his secular soul, what is far better is that in this respect he finds himself in august, even lordly, company. From the moment the HRD Minister made Sanskrit a compulsory subject for school-kids, the esteemed columns of esteemed newspapers are overflowing with scintillating gems of secular ignorance, according to which Sanskrit was never a generally spoken language but was limited to the Brahmins, and hence wasn’t worth any such recognition—and among them is an Indian-origin English ‘Lord’. In his recent column in an Indian paper he dismissed Sanskrit in an impressively lordly manner and declared that Sanskrit was not only a dead language but deserved to remain dead. Now commoner Satiricus is uncommonly proud to be in a Lord’s company apropos Sanskrit, but at the same time he wonders why there are quite a few benighted boors who do not seem to care for such blissful ignorance. For instance, one of them, abominably acknowledged as a reputed historian, has written that Sanskrit used to be the spoken language of ancient tribes moving between Asia and Europe. As if this is not bad enough, there is a Vedic scholar (of course ‘so-called’, suspects secular Satiricus) who has visited a 9000-year-old Hindu temple discovered in the Anatolia region of Turkey and written that the ancients living in the complex around it spoke Sanskrit. What does this mean? Clearly, it means this hopeless historian and this so-called scholar do not possess the ignorance that is this Lord’s bliss and have committed the folly of being wise.