Tuesday, August 16th, 2022 16:54:00

Look At Yourself Instead Of Others

Updated: April 10, 2010 11:32 am

When ever we get angry we become weak. We must adopt forgiveness if we want to expand our capability and tolerance. It is believed that if we surrender before others, we are weak. If we agree to what others say and don’t oppose them or react at all, we are deemed idiots.     .

            But this is not the reality. Peaceful thinking increases our capabilities. Anger and agitation does not elevate our life but degrades it. We know the truth but don’t accept it whole-heartedly. We don’t often witness the real truth being honoured in the world, but we do see the truthful suffer in life. That’s why we deviate from the path of truthfulness. But this is an incomplete thought. Dwell upon it – Does truth require any rewards? If we have made our life truthful, what more respect or honours do we need?

            Inspite of discipline and self-control, desires dominate and overpower us all the time and deviate us from the right path. When desires engulf us, we lose control on ourselves. We should fulfill only those desires which help us grow, without hindering the interests of others.

            When we start dropping our desires, we feel enriched ‘Nobody is alien and in this world nothing belongs to me-such attitude separates us from the rest and makes us special. When we carry bitterness for others in our mind, how can we expect the love and warmth from them in return.

            An enemy is a person who nurtures enmity inside him. Apparently speaking, nobody is a friend or foe in this world. If we have good feelings for other people in general then they become our friends and if we nurture bitterness for others, they may not tum into our enemies but we definitely become our own enemy. Where there is possessiveness, there are problems.

            We consider our mistakes unintentional and unavoidable but never forgive others for their mistakes. This attitude prevents us from having a balanced mind. Children quarrel and patch up soon after; and they are as innocent as they were before.

            A man abused Lord Buddha for half an hour but the Lord did not utter a word. Kamath troubled Parshvanath for many days but he did not retaliate. Such is the forgiveness of the saints! If someone harbours ill will against us, he will be silenced by our demeanour. Our calmness will wipe away his bitterness.

            All sadhus and sadhvis accept the virtue of forgiveness in “Pratikraman”. They don’t go to everyone asking for forgiveness but have forgiveness in their heart for everyone. A similar attitude can be developed by us. There is a story—There were two friends, who were very affectionate to each other. One of them ran away from home and the other went to study in another city. The latter completed his studies and later came to know that his friend had become a dacoit. He felt sad. One day he went to the forest, where he saw a horse rider. He immediately recognised his old friend who had now turned into a dacoit. The rider too recognised him but merely asked him to step aside.

            Having recognised his dacoit friend he said-“Brother, I want to speak to you”. The rider replied, “Step aside, If you talk, I will mutilate your tongue.” With this he swiftly moved away .

            After the dacoit rider was gone, he realised, ”What if he had mutilated my tongue. He would have been reformed. I have made a mistake. When I meet him the next time I will tell him to kill me since I cannot see him in this sorry state.”

            They met again in the same forest. He said-“You were telling me that you will slit my tongue if I say something. All right then, take away my life but I must say what I want to. It pains and hurts me to see you as a dacoit,”

            This time the dacoit rider did not speak. He got down from the horse, bent his head and walked away. A little change was visible. His friend reflected, “Perhaps, there are still some faults in me because of which he is ignoring what I say and spoiling his life.”

            In the third meeting, he did not say a word, just embraced his dacoit friend and burst into tears, voicing his pain and suffering on seeing him as a dacoit, The dacoit touched his friend’s feet and said, ” It’s all over now. Today, I have realised that my bad actions can give pain and suffering to others, Including you. Now I will no longer be able to indulge in any crime.”

            We should first reform ourselves instead of others. If we nurture good intentions for others, they will be forced to think twice before committing crimes. Hence, we should make an effort to see that our mind is calm and peaceful.

By Gani Rajinder Vijay

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