Sunday, December 4th, 2022 15:19:10

Lady Gaga’s Insight

Updated: July 7, 2012 12:06 pm

India That Is Bharat


Satiricus was touched. He was touched to see a famous Hollywood singing star feeling so deeply concerned about the problems that beset the world. It is Lady Gaga. In fact, the lady is so distressed that a recent report of her grief was captioned “Lady Gaga mourns the world’s problems”, and the text said, “Lady Gaga says she wears veils because she is constantly mourning the world’s suffering and problems.” When Satiricus read that he was not only touched, he was moved to tears. For so long he was labouring under the idiotic impression that it was only the sages and seers of India that is Bharat (or the other way round) who made it their business not only to think about the world’s problems but to find solutions for them, and not only to mourn the world’s suffering, but think of how to remove it. But he now realises that these seers and sages could while away their time in this pastime because they had nothing better to do. Did they have a hectic singing schedule? They did not. Did they have stage shows all over the world from China to Israel? They did not. What is more, these seers could not see the simple fact that if you veil your eyes you do not see the world’s problems, and if you do not see them, it means there are no problems to see. In short, Lady Gaga had the insight to see what the seers could not.

Unfortunately, there are those who do not see eye to eye with Satiricus in respect of his admiration for this lady’s sterling contribution to human happiness. In fact some of them irreverently retorted that Lady Gaga could have done something simpler and equally (or more) effective she could have emulated those three famous monkeys who cover their eyes with their hands (or paws or whatever) to “see no evil”, cover their mouth to “speak no evil,” and cover their ears to “hear no evil”. Of course Satiricus was suitably shocked at this blasphemy. Still the remark set him thinking…. Despite Darwin, man may not have descended from monkey but what if this woman did?

Supreme Symbol

Being a traditional (that is, hopelessly outdated) male, Satiricus always thought housewife and housework went together. They were inseparable. In his mind’s eye Satiricus always thought there was something incomplete in the picture of a housewife if she did not have a jhadoo in her hand. That was the supreme symbol of housework, in the performance of which no such silly idea as job satisfaction was involved. Well, he was wrong. He now realises that a mere male can never understand a female. It requires a researcher. And some researchers have recently discovered the astounding truth that women secretly love housework. They have found that for one in every three women, doing housework is not only relaxing, it is even therapeutic! Many women, said the researchers’ report of this epoch-making discovery, admitted that they love cleaning, as it gives them a sense of pleasure and achievement.

But then why was this sweet secret of the female of the species hidden so long from the stupid species of the male? Because, says the report, four out of ten women who love cleaning admitted that it was a secret passion and that they would never tell their other half that they enjoy housework. In short, the wife may be the better half of the husband, but for the housewife the jhadoo may be better than a littering husband.

Of Book And Facebook

There are books and books, said Charles Lamb; some are to be chewed and digested, some are only to be nibbled at. But what about Facebook? Now that is one type of book that book-worm Satiricus cannot digest. For he cannot keep pace with the updated editions that it seems to require almost every alternate day. When, for instance, Facebook CEO Zuckerberg got married, for quite some time he failed to mark on Facebook his status as “married”, nor did he post pictures with his wife as newly-weds, but she did not mind. On the other hand, in a small town in Tamil Nadu a similar “failure” by a man to update his “basic info” on Facebook was recently cited for divorce by his wife on the ground of mental cruelty. Well, now, Satiricus does not know how the judge decided the case, or if, in interpreting the law in this case, he went by the book or by Facebook. Hopefully the learned judge was not so Facebookish as not to be able to read between the lines. All in all, it seems to Satiricus that, that phrase ‘the Book of Life’ needs to be updated to ‘the Facebook of Life’.


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