Friday, July 1st, 2022 15:39:31

Hirsute Pursuit

Updated: February 25, 2012 10:18 am

India That Is Bharat


Why is a Hindu not a Muslim? Because a Hindu does not have the brains to be a Muslim. Simple question, simple answer. At least this is the simple truth about Satiricus the simpleton. Take, for instance, the hirsute pursuit of Islam. Satiricus knows that a Muslim must have a beard. But should it be long or short or medium? Will its length determine if that particular Muslim is good, bad or indifferent? Satiricus, a Hindu, does not know. But does a Muslim? Satiricus is not sure. For not long ago MPs in Pakistan were up in arms after an air force pilot was forced to quit for refusing to trim his beard as per dress code which bans long beards. A government official defended the step, saying “there has to be a limit on the length of a beard,” but an MP complained against it, saying the pilot was a victim of a “policy of secularism”. Good God ! Will somebody kindly explain to this Hindu ignoramus how Islam and Secularism could be so opposed to each other in Pakistan when they are more or less the same in India?

In fact, after reading some books like Religious Demography of India by AP Joshi et al, The Demographic Siege by Koenraad Elst, and Explosion of Muslim Population by Baljit Rai, Satiricus was assured that that golden day when they merge is not far. A map in one of them, showing the religious composition of India’s population, makes a pretty picture of spreading secularism. It shows Hindus happily becoming either a near-minority or even an actual minority in regions spread all over India Jammu-Kashmir in the North-west, Goa, Kerala and Lakshadwipa in the West, Andaman-Nicobar in the East and the ‘Seven Sisters’ of the North-East.

Does that not mean happy, secular days are almost here? Not, alas, for the communalists, the Hindus. They are not only not happy, they are actually alarmed. The books Satiricus mentioned say Hindus fear that one day Muslims would exterminate them from their homeland through demographic aggression. They dread that the Hindus of Hindusthan may go the way of the Christians of Lebanon, who turned from a majority into a minority within a few decades. But isn’t that the secular way to go?

Unfortunately, Satiricus failed to see it that way. For he is a regrettable retard when it comes to learning anything.

Ignorance Is Bliss

For instance, he has been repeatedly taught that Islam means peace, but he was such a wretched learner that he kept labouring under the communal delusion that the meaning had no relation to reality. But later he learnt from a famous film star that there are two types of Islam, and these two varieties of the same product are as dissimilar as chalk is from cheese. Satiricus is talking about superstar Shah Rukh Khan’s statement post-Mumbai terror attack, where he said: “There are two kinds of Islam in the world, more so in India. One is Islam of the Prophet, and the second is Islam of the Mullah. I follow the Islam of the Prophet.”

Well, now, isn’t that wonderfully enlightening? Now simpleton Satiricus takes it that by the Islam of the Prophet the film star means Islam as laid down by the Prophet in the Quran. In turn that means the film star has studied the Quran carefully. So then, would the star kindly explain to this communal cuss what the Quran says? What it does say in verse after verse in as many as 24 of them was so terribly violent that Hindus (read infidels) petitioned the court against them. Has Shah Rukh Khan read about this case? Secondly, a couple of years ago the then President of Pakistan Gen. Musharraf had ordered the deletion of some Quranic verses on the ground that they were too violent. And thirdly, Islamic scholar Anwar Shaikh has written a whole book on violence in Islam, in which he has quoted verses calling for the blood of the infidel including an injunction to “murder” him. Has the film star read all this in his copy of the Quran? Oh well, he is too busy producing films, managing cricket, and making crores to read what the Prophet enjoins on him.

But that would mean, when the star says he follows the Islam of the Prophet he is following something without knowing what he is following. But that’s OK. It is not necessary to know Islam to praise it. For ignorance is secular bliss.

Comments are closed here.