Friday, December 9th, 2022 10:23:42

Hinduism, A Soft Target For Zealots!

Updated: September 18, 2015 7:00 am

India that is Bharat

IT IS in the nature of things that the more they change, the more they remain the same. One of them is secularism. Take, for instance, the prime minister’s motto : “Sab kaSaath, Sab ka Vikaas”. Satiricus the simpleton thought it was a good, secular slogan, as it meant all are equal, therefore equally deserving of Vikaas. But it seems it is not enough for all to be equal, some have to be more equal. That is the essence of Indian secularism the Hon’ble Vice-President of India eruditely expounded in his recent address at the All-India Muslim Majlis conference. He gave us an improved edition of the prime minister’s call—“Sab ka Saath, Some ka special Vikaas”. And who could these special some be in secular India if not the Muslims? But who do they need special Vikaas? Because, alas, they suffer from “deprivation, exclusion and discrimination”.

Satiricus is of course properly sad. But he also feels flummoxed. He thought after Muslims ruling India for 800 years and secular Islamists ruling India for 60 more years it would be the communal cusses called Hindus who would be at the wretched receiving end. What were the Muslim conquerors and rulers of India doing all these centuries—except spitting in the mouth of the Hindu who came to pay Jazia? And what were the Muslim masters doing for the Muslim masses while they were lording it over the Hindus? Wasn’t the India of those times Muslim India, the title of the journal run by Syed Shahabuddin, who sat by the Vice-President’s side on the stage during the conference?

Oh, well, if Satiricus, the professional ignoramus, does not know the right answers to these wrong questions, it must be because the complexities of the religion of secularism are beyond his underdeveloped understanding. In fact, he is ashamed to admit, this ignoble ignorance of his is not limited to Islam but even extends to Buddhism and even Christianity.

Take this “Hindu-Buddhist Initiative” conference organised in collaboration with the Buddhist Association of Japan. The curious cuss in Satiricus wonders…. Is this a collaboration between the Hindus of India and the Buddhists of Japan? According to an in-house expert of a leading Indian newspaper, this “initiative” is prime minister Modi’s effort at injecting religion into his foreign policy apropos Buddhist south Asia. Maybe so, but secular Satiricus smells a communal rat. Could this not really be a hidden Hindu-cum-communal conspiracy on the PM’s part? Looking to the horrible Hindu history of India, this could well be so. For according to the later Purranas, Buddha was actually one of the Dashāvatāra, the ten Hindu incarnations of the Almighty. Even considered as a human being, Dr. Radhakrishnan said Buddha was born a Hindu and died a Hindu. Buddha himself praised Yajna, the core of the Vedic / Hindu religion. On top of this, Emperor Ashok, the Buddhist icon of secular India, did not become a Buddhist at all, it was king Ashok of the Gonand dynasty of Kashmir who had become a Buddhist, says historian Dr. S D Kulkarni.

As if this is not bad enough, Satiricus has the dark suspicion that even Buddhist south Asia could be crypto-Hindu. Look at all these tell-take signs—In Thailand the spot of the recent terrorist attack is a Brahma temple. In Indonesia almost all government departments have fancy Sanskrit names. In Japan the Hindu goddess Saraswati still popular. Did not all that this mean the conference was a crypto-communal conspiracy of the prime minister, whose party still does not mind being called a Hindu party?

As if all this is not curious enough, what is curiouser beyond comprehension for this benighted Hindu is the Christian case of Piyush-become-Bobby Jindal, the Indian-American horrified at the hyphen. He now says immigration without integration is “invasion”. So he “integrated” himself by eliminating not only the hyphen but also his ‘Indian’ part altogether. But did that make him a full American?

Alas, no. Somehow his search was incomplete. But did that defer this Indian-American who wanted to discard being Indian to embrace being an American? It did not.

Finally, success. He found Americanness when he “found” Jesus. That is, he became a real American when he became a Christian American.

So now if and when Governor Jindal becomes President Jindal, Satiricus would be happily looking forward to the presidential promotion of Christian-American “values”. For instance, on the Biblical front the president could take an Executive Decision to execute all non-Christian pagans refusing to follow in the footsteps of Jesus (starting with his parents). On the legal front he could improve upon the latest law making homosexual “marriage” legal by legislating that only such marriages would be legal. On the financial level he could lay down official norms for the time-honoured American practice of bribing foreigners to get contracts. And on the social level he could righteously rebuke Lindsay Lohan, 28-year-old female Hollywood star, for having 36 “lovers”-cum-bedfellows, and sternly warn her never to have more than 30.

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