Wednesday, August 17th, 2022 15:11:13

Dynastic Beauty

Updated: December 1, 2012 11:56 am

India That Is Bharat


Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi has reshuffled the government, Oops !A silly slip of Satiricus’s pernicious pen. Satiricus solemnly swears what he meant was that Prime Minister Maun Mohan Singh did it.What? Is there something wrong here? OK, you mean the PM’s name is wrongly spelt? Well, now, what’s in a name’s spelling, as Shakespeare should have asked. Who knows, Satiricus may be wrong for the right reason. For has not Prime Minister Singh, normally abnormally tongue-tied, been talking again and again and again about just one thing—that he wants the latest Gandhi to be a minister on the way to being the prime minister? Satiricus has lost count, for he is weak in counting beyond the ten fingers he has.

But why is Rahulji not obliging? The answer is simple—it is good to be king, but it is better to be kingmaker.That is the beauty of being the dynasty. You can enjoy the power of pelf without suffering the rigours of responsibility. Look at Rahul in UP. He went, he saw, and he fell flat on his face. And who was held responsible for the double-digit debacle? Of course the party.

Anyway, the reshuffle has been remarkable for a number of things. The first of them is that the Congress seems to have gone back to the pristine period of Gandhian times. It is said the original Gandhi had an “inner voice” to which he used to listen even in politics.—And that is exactly what now-ex-Foreign Minister Krishna has declared he has done. He has publicly revealed that his decision to quit just before the reshuffle “came from within”. There goes another glorious Gandhi with his voice from within, Satiricus (almost) said. Why almost? Because being a journalist Satiricus is weak in English and so is not sure if Krishna’s “within” actually means within the PMO, or even within imperial gates of 10, Janpath. For if it was just a personal ‘within’, how come it was so loud that it could be heard by half a dozen other ministers who promptly rose (or fell) to the call?

Oh, well, the mysteries of inner voice and inner politics are beyond Satiricus’s understanding. Still he can understand the reasoning behind Krishna being replaced by Khurshid. It is that variety is the spice of political life. Some shallow souls are saying the new foreign minister taking the place of the old foreign minister just means one tainted minister making way for another tainted minister—that is, there is no change. Satiricus does not agree. For there are taints and taints and one taint should not be mistaken for another. This superficial attitude needs to be given up, especially because the Congress taint factory observes close quality control and ensures that despite mass manufacture every taint has its own individuality and appeal. It all depends upon which particular taint a particular Congress leader fancies. After all, pindaypindayruchirbhinnaa—every (Congress-) man to his taste.

Who Let The Dog Out?

So long Satiricus said the world would be a better place to live in if it went to the dogs. But now he has realised a serious flaw in his thinking. Better place for whom? The dire fact is dawning on him that the world going to the dogs may be far from good for the dogs. Gone would be the good old days when a dog’s life meant chew a bone, chase a cat and snooze in a shade. Rather, the world going to the dogs would mean the problems of the world going to the dogs. Take this recent report from a city somewhere in India. It said pet dogs in that city are feeding on pizza and suffering from diabetes. See? American junk food may be the in thing for Indians, but does ‘Indians’ mean Indian dogs as well? And if it does, does it not become necessary for dogs to know diabetes? Only then can a dog tackle the problem of evaluating the nutritional value of a piece of pizza on the one hand and a juicy bone on the other.

And if Indian dogs need to know medicine, American dogs need to know law. For it was recently reported that when a sniffer dog in Florida sniffed at the door of a house and thus pinpointed a big cache of marijuana hidden inside, the court ruled that the dog was guilty of intrusion into the sanctity of the home and thus violating a constitutional ban on unreasonable search. See? The problem is, American law is an ass. It needs to be a dog.


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