Cunning Conspirators

INDIA THAT IS BHARAT

Satiricus sometimes seriously wonders….what would our sacred secularism have done without the doughty defender of the faith Digvijay Singh? This arch-angel of secularism is ever on the watch against its arch-enemy, the RSS. For instance, when 26/11 happened and 200 people were shot dead, only Digvijay knew who was behind the carnage it was RSS ki Saajish. And now he has astutely identified the root cause of why these wretched communal cusses do what they do they are taught to do so. They have their schools, known as Saraswati Shishu Mandir, where the teachings “incite hatred” and cause communal violence in this secular swarga of ours. So he has recently righteously demanded a Communal Violence Bill, which “must look at all curriculums of (such) institutions which have brought in subjects that instigate and incite communal hatred…. For instance, Shishu Mandir has been teaching young students how bad Muslim rulers were, and how temples were destroyed.” That does it. Secular Satiricus can certainly not imagine anything more anti-secular than to grieve instead of rejoice at the destruction of Hindu temples in Hindusthan.

But should Digvijay’s defence of secularism be confined to castigating the communal curriculum of Saraswati Shishu Mandir schools? Satiricus submits there is something much more he could and should do ‒ counter these schools with his own Anti-Saraswati Secular Shishu Mandir schools with their own curricula of history textbooks. Does Digvijay feel daunted by the prospect of preparing such textbooks? If he does, Satiricus has good news for him. It is that the government-approved textbooks on the history of India in general and on Hindus in particular are already being taught in our Most Favoured Nation Pakistan, and they are admirably attuned to Indian secularism. So Satiricus is sure that in view of India’s as-yet-unfulfilled yearning to become Pakistan’s most favoured nation, Pakistan would generously bestow on India the first favour by way of wholesale export of their history books. What is more, Digvijay does not have to do any painstaking research into the contents of these textbooks, as two comprehensive studies done in the recent past by Pakistani scholars are already at his disposal. One of them is jointly done by two Pakistani academics by name Ahmed Salim and AH Nayyar and is titled The state of curricula and textbooks in Pakistan, and the other is by Pakistani historian Prof. Aziz on History in Pakistan. For the kind information and scholarly satisfaction of Digvijay Singh Satiricus here presents Pak samples of pak textual truths:

On Ancient Hindu India: India was an uncivilized place, a place mired in cruelty, superstition and the rest, till Islam came and civilized it. It is Islam which brought the country “a clean and elegant culture and civilization.” The Hindus treated the ancient population of the Indus Valley very badly. They forcibly occupied their land. They set fire to their houses and butchered them. Those who escaped were forced to become slaves.

See? Does Digvijay desire to know more authoritative history of the atrocious Hindus? As a sterling secularist he must be; so herewith some more gems of historical knowledge:

Hindus are cunning. They are ungrateful. They are consummate conspirators. Their conspiracies account for the misfortunes which have befallen Pakistan. Hindus are not only cunning conspirators, they are mean murderers. The killings after the partition were all done by these Hindus (and Sikhs). After the partition Hindu (and Sikh) enemies of mankind killed and dishonoured thousands, nay, hundreds of thousands, of (Muslim) women and children, the young and the old, with extreme cruelty and heartlessness (in the whole of Bharat and particularly in East Pakistan). India in general and the Hindus in particular are perfidious, cunning, treacherous. They have always been and continue to be out to do in Muslims and Islam in general, and Pakistan in particular. The Muslims knew that the Hindus have always been their enemy. The Hindu has always been an enemy of Islam.

Does anything remain after these glowing glimpses of Pakistani history of India and Hindus? Yes, something does ‒ the Pakistani history of Pakistan. So herewith some dazzlers for Digvijay’s delirious delight: Mohammed bin Qasim, the Arab tourist who visited India in 712 AD, was the “first Pakistani citizen”…. Pakistan under the Arabs comprised the Lower Indus Valley…. During the 16th century Hindustan disappeared and was completely absorbed in Pakistan….Under Aurangzeb the Pakistan spirit gathered strength… Although Pakistan was created in name in August 1947, present-day Pakistan has existed for centuries…. Muslims of the (Indian) sub-continent (and beyond) have striven to create Pakistan for more than a millennium.

Will all this not make an ideal history textbook for Digvijay’s secular Shishu-s?