Sunday, August 14th, 2022 06:47:31

Courage of Conviction

Updated: August 13, 2011 12:47 pm

India That Is Bharat


Satiricus had read somewhere that those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first drive mad. Maybe so; but Satiricus is sure the secular gods won’t do that. At least not in the case of this Congress Party leader whom communal cusses are calling deranged Digvijay. When the latest terrorist attack in Mumbai took place he promptly called for a probe of Hindu terrorists in general and RSS in particular. Why? Because he knows that Hindu terrorists are running amuck all over secular India; he sees them here, there and everywhere. Well, according to the Puranas, when Kansa came to know that Krishna was going to be his nemesis, he began to see Krishna everywhere, in “jala, sthala, kāshtha, pāshāna”, in water and on land, in wood and in stone. At the same time Digvijay Singh was generous enough to concede that he did not have proof of Hindu complicity in the terror attack. Then why make such a charge without proof? Because no proof is needed for secularly abusing Hindus-cum-communalists.

            Not that educating his party in the omni-presence of Hindu terrorism was an easy job. It took him years of hard work, he declared not long ago, but finally, he triumphantly declared, he has succeeded. Satiricus is impressed. In his considered opinion it was an index of this admirable achievement on his part that His Master’s Voice had said there was no difference between RSS and SIMI. Commenting in some other context on the Gandhi scion who had made that statement, which stupefied even stupid Satiricus, a well-known columnist had remarked that Rahul suffered from a temporary fit of insanity. Actually Satiricus fails to understand why being mad at Hindus should be dismissed as temporary madness. For is that not a permanent qualification for a secularist of Bharat that is Islamic India? Fortunately for Digvijay, his magnificent madness is not subject to fits and starts. It is continuing with no end in sight. For only the other day he had associated with the release of Burney’s book “26/11 : RSS ki Sazish?” And when somebody was rude enough to ask him, how come you were so long blaming the Pakistanis but now release a book saying it was an RSS conspiracy? He replied, the book’s title has a question-mark, no? What a brilliant defence ! But Satiricus wonders…. Why did not Burney avail of Digvijay’s legal acumen instead of apologising publicly and abjectly to the RSS? Oh, well, it seems Burney did not have Digvijay’s courage of conviction—rather, he had the fear of conviction.

Dignified Dogs

Satiricus is tired of listening to people all the while whining about how the world is going to the dogs. In his considered opinion there is nothing bad about the world going to the dogs. In fact, a dog is universally acknowledged as “man’s best friend”, so should not man celebrate this friendship? Well, if man does not, at least one woman has done it in England. For news comes from London that a woman by name Louise Harris spent 20,000 pounds on her pet dog’s wedding the other day. The dainty doggie, Miss Lola, wore a wedding gown worth a thousand pounds and a pearl necklace. As many as 80 guests were invited to the lavish ceremony. Now wasn’t that just wonderful? Satiricus hopes that for this dog the coming dog days would be happy days.

            But when a dog settles down to a householder’s life should not the dog earn for the household? He should and he does, at least in the US of A. For according to a recent report from the city of Miami a homeless man has trained his dog to beg for money for him. The dog goes to a restaurant carrying a bucket from table to table—and returns to his master with a bucketful of cash. Satiricus is impressed to see that even in rich America there is such hi-tech beggary in which dogs can be trained. Satiricus only hopes that this dog pays his taxes like a law-abiding American citizen.

            There are other dogs in other jobs too. For instance, police dogs. They are such important custodians of law in USA that they must be treated with due courtesy, otherwise you are in legal trouble. For instance, the other day a man in the city of Cincinnati was charged by the police with offence of “misdemenour” for—believe it or not—barking at a police dog. When the police officer asked the man why he barked at the dog in his patrol car the man replied in defence—“the dog started it”. Now, whether or not the dog refuted the charge Satiricus does not know, but it seems barking back at a barking dog is illegal in America. After all, it is a question of the dog’s dignity.

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