Saturday, August 13th, 2022 21:37:58

Congress culture

Updated: July 2, 2011 12:05 pm

India That Is Bharat

If Satiricus has said it once, he has said it a hundred times, and if Satiricus has said it a hundred times, he will again say it for the hundred and first time. He will keep saying that in the progressive times in which we are living, whether you tell the truth is not important. What is important is how politely you tell it. For, etiquette is the “in” thing, truth is not. That being so, our Hon’ble Minister Shri Kapil Sibal is fully justified in getting furious at this fellow Ramdev for calling him a liar. Satiricus knows full well that this Minister—or any other Minister of this government—is never guilty of a lie; he may at the most have expressed a verbal inexactitude. See? There is a world of difference between a lie and a verbal inexatitude.

            The point is, a person brought up in culture, especially Congress culture, never calls a spade a spade, he always calls it an instrument to dig with. In fact, he is so cultured as to call the world’s No. 1 terrorist Osama bin Ladenji, and to publicly grieve that the murderous Americans did not observe the right religious rites at his funeral.

            But, of course, Satiricus is realistic enough to realise that in this less than perfect world there are pernicious people who do not deserve Congress courtesy. So for cultured Congressmen Ramdev is a “thug”. Naturally, thugs must be dealt with, with the full force of law. So it was quite legal to attack the thug Ramdev and his subversive supporters while they were asleep. They had indeed committed a grave crime—the crime of a call against corruption.

            Of course, it is a different matter when it comes to respected Afzal Guruji or the cute kid Kasab. A decade after this guru of terrorists was sentenced to death he lives on—and may he live long, every terrorist—friendly Congress secularist may be piously praying. And as for dear Kasab, after he and his killer-comrades massacred hundreds of citizens of India, the Government of India is happy to have spent 45 crore rupees so far (with the happier prospect of spending Rs 9 lakh every day till 2018) to keep him alive and in good health. God forbid he catch a cold !

            Unfrotunately, however, even in this secular swarga of ours there are communal cusses—the RSS. Dear Digvijay has daringly divulged that 26/11 was RSS ki sazish. What does Satiricus have to say to that ? Well, Satiricus will not be so uncultured as to call Digvijay an absolute idiot. It may be the truth, but who wants to be told the unvarnished truth about an absolute idiot? Not cultured Congressmen of comparable calibre.


‘Rich soul of india’

M F Husain is dead, and the bottom has fallen out of Satiricus’s secular world. The media is awash with tears. Secularists are sobbing. So is Sibal. In fact, his precious piece on the painter in the press is the only solace for Satiricus’s saddened soul. Talking of the soul, this ignoramus felt extremely enlightened to learn from the Hon’ble Minister of the Government of India that this painter of nude Hindu Goddesses openly fornicating with animals was the “rich soul of India”. It is certainly good for a poor pen-pusher to know about a rich soul. By the way, is not a rich soul the same as a wealthy soul? When Husain exiled himself, he did not go to the forest, he went to England, and he did not live in a humble hut, he lived in a palatial mansion. And when he exiled himself again from England to Qatar he shifted from one palatial mansion to another palatial mansion. What does all this prove? It not only proves legal eagle Kapil Sibal’s contention that Husain was the rich soul of poor India, but it also supports Satiricus’s sentiment that Husain was a very, very rich soul indeed.

            Unfortunately, there are communal cusses in this country who are simply incapable of appreciating this soulful richness of MF Husain. They do not understand how such a soul could live in a body with a lustful libido even at the age of ninety. Some of these wretches even went to the execrable extent of equating Husain with a certain President of the USA—Kennedy. Kennedy’s full name was John F Kennedy and Husain’s full name was Maqbool F Husain. A biographer of Kennedy once wrote the F could well stand for Fornication. Could it also in Husain’s name ? Satiricus was stunned to see that not only horrid Hindus but even a Muslim lady thought so—Najma Heptullah. She once said in a public speech, Husain has a dirty mind, and if he wants to paint naked women even at the age of 90 why doesn’t he paint his mother and daughter like that? Satiricus wonders …. Is Heptullah a secret Hindu?

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