Friday, August 19th, 2022 13:52:07

Catholic commitment to the poor

Updated: May 4, 2013 2:42 pm


Satiricus was moved. Satiricus was moved the other day when he read in the papers that in his first press conference in his kingdom of the Vatican the new Pope urged the Catholic Church “to be poor, for the poor”. But being an unimaginative Hindu he cannot imagine why that advice was called for. It was noble, but was it necessary? Do we not already see all around us quite convincing signs of the pious poverty of the Catholic Church? Take the Vatican itself, for starters. Is it not a poor little Catholic kingdom? Then take the bank run by this kingdom, the Vatican Bank. Is it not a poor little bank with only eight billion dollars? Then look at the dingy hovels in which the courtiers of this Catholic kingdom known as Cardinals live. Only the other day a British newspaper’s correspondent reported that a Cardinal by name Ivan Dias, crassly called the “Prince of the Church,” was living in an apartment in Rome that had only twelve rooms. And, added the wretched reporter, he is not the only one to suffer this indescribable indignity of insufferable indigence, there are 18 more Vatican apartments in the same block housing other oh-so-poor priests. This is indeed terrible. A single, solitary dozen rooms to live in? Despite being a heathen Hindu Satiricus cannot but pity the poor padres.

Unfortunately, however, we live in less than an ideally secular world, in which there are horrid heathens and pernicious pagans who claim that the Roman Catholic Church is the world’s richest MNC. This is nothing but a canard at least so far as the Church in India is concerned. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the Christian truth is that the Indian Church establishment in Kerala owns only 22 Churches in America, is currently building one more in the US of A at a petty cost of nine million dollars only, and is also planning a 20-million-dollar (100-crore-rupee) church in Rome itself. Could there be more evident evidence of the pitiable poverty of the Church?

And if at all there are doubting Indian Thomases who might find this evidence not quite believable, Satiricus can refer them to “Sister” Nirmala, successor to “Mother” Teresa at Missionaries of Charity. She has publicly given the assurance that the Church in India has a vested interest in poverty. Why? Because terminally ill poor Hindus who go to their mission for medical care can be baptized on their death bed without letting them know, so that their departing souls headed for hell can be redirected to the Christian heaven. The Bible says, “Those who are baptized will be saved, but those who are not, are condemned,” then how can this divine directive be disregarded?

Interestingly enough for this pen-pusher who hides behind a pen-name, the new Pope’s commitment to the poor is literally nominal, as he took the name Francis because, he says, he was inspired by Francis of Assisi, who “devoted his life to the poor”. At the same time he also expressed his appreciation of the Jesuit order, founded by, among others, another Francis, namely, Francis Xavier. And what was this Jesuit order? The last sentence of the ‘poor Pope’ report sent from Vatican city by Reuters and Associated Press helpfully informs this Hindu ignoramus that “the Society of Jesus as Jesuits are officially called, is a legendary religious order known for intellectuals, educators and missionaries who take a special vow of obedience to the Pope”.

Well, now, this Jesuit oath should be a tremendous help for the new Pope in his divine duty towards rich Christianity and poor heathen humanity. This oath, as Satiricus, an unfortunately unbaptised condemned cuss, found in the online source ( in action.html) is as follows:

“I promise and declare that I will, when opportunity presents, wage a relentless war, secretly or openly, against all heretics, as I am directed to do, to exterminate them from the face of the whole earth; and that I will spare neither age, sex or condition; and that I will hang, boil, flay, strangle and bury alive these infamous heretics, rip up the stomachs and wombs of their women and crush their infants’ head against the walls, in order to annihilate forever their execrable race. That when the same cannot be done openly, I will secretly use the poisoned cup, the strangulating cord, the steel of the poniard or the leaden bullet, regardless of the honour, rank, dignity, or authority of the person or persons, as at any time may be directed so to do by any agent of the Pope or superior of the Brotherhood of the Holy Faith, of the Society of Jesus.”

See? By the grace of the Christian God this poor, pagan pen-pusher is blessed with a rich variety of ways in which these faithful followers of the Prince of Peace can send him to the Christian heaven in pieces.

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