Friday, January 27th, 2023 10:13:00

Booming Business

Updated: March 10, 2012 5:16 pm

India That Is Bharat

 Business is booming. The family business of leading this country. In fact, it looks like the boardroom requires more chairs. After all, in the continuing Congress Kissa Kursi Ka the number of chairs has to keep up with the number of the august occupants, no? And this number is happily growing to high heavens. Till the other day there was CEO Mama Mia with the entire brood of Nehru-Gandhis right up to the grandchildren. But now there is value-added diversification. For just a couple of weeks ago son-in-law Robert Vadra told television reporters that he would enter politics if that is what the “people want”, of course, of course. We, the people of India, hereby solemnly declare that we want him to join the fantastic phalanx of our hereditary leaders. After all, in a family business the family tree must grow from branch to branch.

Trailing his in-laws on the election trail Vadra said: “I am here for the family. Politics is the family business in a way. It is now Rahul’s time. Then Priyanka’s time will come, and later other members of the family will come.” How true! If winter comes, can spring be far behind? If Priyanka Gandhi-Vadra comes, can Robert Vadra-Gandhi be far behind? And even the two baby Vadras appeared on the stage alongside Mummy Priyanka while Daddy was announcing his grand entry. So now what do you have to say, Shakespeare? Will you now dare to ask what’s in a name? But Shakespeare was a wily fellow. He may ask a counter-question —true, the brand name Vadra has acquired value, but is it for Mr Vadra or Mrs Vadra?

Now that, satiricus must admit, would be a tricky question. For he recalls that when Priyanka, more or less in her teens, had done some loud thinking about entering politics, every Congressman-woman-child had gone into instant raptures and hailed her as the epitome of all wisdom in the world. But what happened? She had been unwise enough to disappoint her delirious devotees. Enter Rahul. Instantly senior Congress leaders issued glowing certificates declaring he was quite fit to be Prime Minister. All in all, satiricus can now joyfully look forward to a succession of ready-made Prime Ministers—Prime Minister Rahul Nehru-Gandhi, Prime Minister Vadra-Gandhi, and so on…and on…

Oh well, there was a time when Congressmen had cried (maybe in both senses shouted and/or wept) “Sonia Lao Desh Bachao”. She came, she saw, she bachao-ed (so they say) and now, it seems, this desh is going to be bachao-ed for ever and ever. By the way, how old are Priyanka’s kids? They better grow up fast.

American Ingenuity

When there is some big problem that you have to tackle, what do you need to do? You need to get your teeth into it, as the phrase goes. But what if you have no teeth to do so? Now that is a bigger problem. Not that there is no solution. Take this toothless woman in a small American town. She tried to rob a bank to raise enough money to buy a denture. That she was not equipped with the expected expertise in the area of bank-robbing and so was caught by the cops was unfortunate for her, but, after all, not failure but low aim is a crime, as the wise say. Maybe she could have pulled it off if she had aimed at stealing enough money to open a dentist’s shop of dentures. That was her real crime wanting a single, solitary denture. On the other hand, look at this other thief (of course an American). Maybe he needed to butter his toast for breakfast, but, alas, there was no margarine in the fridge. So what did he do? He went out and stole a food products company’s truck carrying margarine worth 50,000 dollars. The cops may have called it a crime, but surely ‘low aim’ was no the crime here. In fact, it seems to satiricus that American thieves are not just high-minded, they are also long-minded. For, believe it or not, the other day they stole a so-foot-long bridge! It was made of corrugated sheet and put over a small stream in a small town. They cut it with blow-torches and carried it away presumably to sell as scrap. An excellent example of American ingenuity producing wealth from waste, satiricus must say.

But Satiricus also wonders…. While commodities ranging from margarine to steel bridges can be converted into hard cash, which, after all, stealing is all about, what can he say about stealing a cat? The other day, for instance, when an American divorced his wife for another woman, the ex-wife got so mad that she went to the other woman’s house and stole her cat. Oh well, a cat has green eyes, and is not jealousy called a green-eyed monster?

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