Monday, January 30th, 2023 07:34:23

Biblical Ethos

Updated: August 7, 2015 6:35 am

India that is Bharat

SATIRICUS is a born bird-brain, a deplorable dim-wit because he was born a Hindu. That is understandable, but why did he not make efforts to become smart when he grew up? Well, firstly because he decided to become a journalist, which required him to be a retard. But more importantly because he never thought of stopping being a Hindu and start being a Christian. He remained a Hindu and he remained a retard.

That did not matter in his case, because he is not a candidate for presidentship of the US of A. But that is all that matters in the case of Shri Bobby Jindal. He may be “trailing behind”, but he is the “smartest candidate” in the race, the American newspaper Christian Science Monitor has declared. Why is that? Why, because he left his Hinduism and embraced Christianity, that’s why. The moment he was baptized he was magically transformed from a stupid Hindu into a smart Christian, and now from a smart Christian into the smartest candidate for US presidentship. If Hindu Satiricus finds that hard to believe, he better read a recent report where this Christian newspaper has “listed out six facts about his Christian faith,”Topping the list is Jindal’s pious assertion on several occasions that the single most important moment in his life “is the moment I found Jesus Christ,” On several other occasion he said he best identifies as an “evangelical Catholic”. And to cap it all, he said he “feels as if the Bible has been written especially for me.”

Jesus Christ! Is Satiricus impressed? No, Satiricus is not impressed—Satiricus is floored. But even in his state of shock Satiricus remembers that jokey question—“can you find a black cat in a dark room when it is not there?” You cannot. Why? Because you cannot find a cat that is not there. But then, Jesus Christ is not a cat. So Bobby the Blessed could find him even when he is not there, he doesn’t exist, as the Dead Sea Scrolls strongly suggest.

As for Christian Jindal’s fancying himself as an evangelical Catholic, Satiricus has a solid suggestion for his campaign speeches. He may recall that an American evangelist had some time back declared in the presence of some other state Governor that all those who do not believe in Christ are going to hell with a one-way ticket. So Governor Jindal could promise a free ticket for that journey.

And if Christian Jindal feels the Bible is written specially for him, Satiricus hopes he will do what the Bible tells him to do. And what does the Bible tell? It says, instead of making silly videos showing him to be a loving Hindu-type family man—“If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or the wife of thy bosom….entices thee….saying let us go and serve other gods….thou shalt….kill him, thine hand should be the first upon him to put him to death….” (Deuteronomy, 13:6,7,8,9,10.)

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