Wednesday, December 7th, 2022 04:59:44

Being An Incompetent Politician

Updated: August 9, 2014 10:40 am

India that is Bharat


SUCH men are dangerous. Shakespeare said so when he was thinking of men who think. Satiricus agrees, and so would Soniaji. Look, for instance, at what MP Congress leader Ghufran Azam has done. This Congress leader, instead of being a faithful follower of the one and only leader, has launched a mad, malignant missive at Sonia Gandhi in which he has accused her of forcing her son Rahul on the party for the past 10 years although he lacks leadership quality and “has developed neither the art of speaking nor imbibed political thinking”. Satiricus is stunned. Truly it is said whom the secular gods wish to destroy, they first drive mad. Clearly this Azam is not in his senses. Specifically speaking, he is not sensible like Digvijay Singh. For actually did not the two say the same thing? But look how decorously differently dear Diggy did it—And then see how devilishly devious Azam is. He says it is because Mommy-G thrust poor little Rahul Baba into the limelight of leadership that he was subjected to opposition insults like “puppy”, “munna”, and “leader with low IQ”.

This is incomprehensibly insane. Satiricus simply fails to understand how Rahul Gandhi can be anything but a leader when he is born in India’s one and only Family with a capital F. Had it not been declared from house tops by leader after Congress leader (including the present president of India) that Rahul possessed all the qualities required to become Prime Minister of India? Did that not show the prime quality of leadership that Baba had even as a baby? But then, it takes all sorts to make the world, including silly sorts like Azam. For in his outrageous outburst he wretchedly wrote : “You have shown excessive fondness for son rather than party or the nation….you tried to make him a leader for the past 10 years, but he neither learned how to speak nor imbibe political thinking.”

But there, however, Azam may have a point. For if Rahul is not a politician, let alone a political leader, because he cannot learn political thinking, that may actually be good for the Indian aam aadmi’s health. For a new study in the US of A, which may well apply to India, says a politician could actually be the death of us. According to the foundation that carried out this study, “Americans cited ‘hearing about what….politicians are doing’ as the most frequent daily stressor in their life, and at a substantially higher rate than the usual annoyances like commuting….” And as if to underline this fatal faculty the Washington Post commented : “(Politicians) are also stressing everyone out with the astonishing breadth and depth of their incompetence. And since high stress is linked to shorter life expectancy, they are also literally killing us with their incompetence.” Well, now, does that not mean Rahul does not know how to think politically so he is not a politician, and in turn he is not a politician so he is not an incompetent politician? Thank God for that. Rather, thank you, Rahulji, for not being an incompetent politician and thus sparing the life of this incompetent journalist.

While on the subject of journalists and journalism, Satiricus is sad to see that even a competent journal like Forbes has recently shown unforgivable incompetence in the Indian context. For long years Sonia Gandhi had rightfully graced the pride of place in the Forbes list of 100 most powerful women in the world. Then one fell day she fell in the list of the first 10 and now her name has been axed altogether. This is sheer calumny and a fit case for a case of defamation.

Coming back to Azam’s insanity, apart from this man’s dangerous thinking that even the posts of Congress president and vice-president should be open to election, it is reported that now there is even a caucus that is seeking to put the two Gandhis out of the Congress altogether. This is so phantastic that it is funny. Can there be a Congress without a Gandhi? The very concept is beyond conceiving. In fact, are not Gandhi and the Congress one and the same? True, the original Gandhi had once advised Congressmen to wind up the Congress, but that was because he lacked the engineering skill to develop thinking Congress workers into unthinking automatons. Those primitive days are over. Now CEO Sonia has just to push the button and all Congressmen automatically follow her as Mary’s little lamb followed her. Then how to explain Azam? Simple—a defective product due to a glitch in the assembly line. And what was that glitch? Oh, just a small one—the electio

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