Anti-Modi is True Intellectual

India that is Bharat

IS OR IS NOT Satiricus a writer?A moot question. For on the one hand Bernard Shaw has certified him as a practitioner of the illiterate profession of journalism, but on the other, Satiricus asserts that he is a man of letters, as without his knowledge of the alphabet he could not have written this column. As that makes him a writer of sorts, he must defend those writers who are currently busy with the business of award-returning. To fess up, he too would like to return his award, but for a slight difficulty. He cannot return an award because he does not have it. As a result, he does not have the fame of an award-winner.

But, “fame is an infirmity of noble minds,” as poet Milton put it. So what did these famous writers do? They returned their awards—and hey, presto! They became more famous and familiar instead of remaining “forgotten fossils”. To quote our famous fifth-columnist, “Forgotten fossils came forward to return awards nobody knew they had, and every one of them got their fifteen minutes of fame. They made newspaper headlines and appeared on prime time chat shows, no matter how stupid and unthinking their assertions. Some very stupid things were said.” See? Stupidity brings fame. Here Satiricus’s grouse is—if these writers’ made-to-order stupidity brings them fame, why can’t Satiricus’s pristine natural stupidity make him famous? It is not right, Satiricus complains.

At the same time he admits it is not right because it is not Left, which is the real Right, as against the usual Right, which is really wrong. Take history. For the last more than half a century the historians who wrote and taught us our history were right about it because they were on the Left. In fact, not long back one of them had publicly assured us—“Most of us historians are leftists.” So, the history of India is right because the history of Hindusthan is Right, so wrong.

All this is admittedly a little too convoluted for Satiricus, because, the simpleton that he is, he has just a single standard as a writer of this column instead of the doubly delightful double standards of these award-winning-cum-award-returning authors. At least that is what a famous female of the writer tribe has shown no Lajja in saying. She says brazenly, “Most (of these) writers were silent when my book was banned….when five Fatwas were issued against me in India….when I was kept under house arrest….and forced to leave India…. Not only were they silent, but famous (Indian) writers….appealed….to ban my books.” Tut, tut, Taslima, don’t be nasty, Nasreen.

She and her abominable ilk ignore the fact about these fiction-writers that they joyfully accepted the awards in secular times and have righteously returned them in anti-secular times personified by—who else, but Modi. So the Fifth Column again : “The truth is that most public intellectuals detest the idea of Modi becoming prime minister.” But isn’t that as it should be? In fact, secular Satiricus can see three solid reasons for deserved detestation : Firstly, Modi is a Hindu, which is bad. Secondly, Modi is a Swayamsevak, which is worse. And thirdly, he is “proud” to be a Swayamsevak, which is worst. So with Modi heading the Government of India that is Bharat, India that is Bharat might actually become India that is Bharat. What a frightful prospect!