Sunday, 8 December 2019

Intelligent Cuss Of India

Updated: October 23, 2015 10:00 am

SATIRICUS has known all along that he is not intelligent, but he learnt only lately that he is also not an intelligent. What is an intelligent? It is a tribe whose tribals know everything about everything—except that trifle called truth. One year ago, before the general election every Indian Intelligent worth his bushel of secular salt knew that the secular forces would give the communal cusses the drubbing they deserved. What actually happened? Those very cusses swept the polls. How on earth could that happen? In a mournful epitaph of his intelligence a torch-bearer of the tribe of Intelligents wrote two words—“We goofed”. And why did they goof? Because they were Indian Intelligents, not Bharatiya bird-brains.

Now one year has passed, and the bird-brains are still busy building Bharat outside Lutyens Delhi. Of course the Intellligents knew that with an arch-communalist in command, the country was doomed. To quote a female of the Intelligent species,“There is deep disappointment,” the Intelligents declared happily, “because he has simply not been able to do the economic reforms hoped for.” So, when he goes to America again, he would now be given the short shrift, the Intelligents joyfully predicted. And what happened? Madison Gardens -1 was followed by Madison Gardens-2. Why? Because, says she who knows, “there are things that we who inhabit the high realms of political punditry in Lutyens Delhi often cannot see.” Why not? Because it is infra dig for Intelligents to have such a common thing as common sense.

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