Sunday, 8 December 2019

Reasonably Readable Rot

Updated: September 11, 2015 7:35 am

India that is Bharat

 

WHY is Satiricus a reasonably successful columnist? Because he writes reasonably readable rot. This means the quantity of his success depends on the quality of his rot. Unfortunately for him this quality can never equal that of a recent piece titled Virginity is Overrated by an alleged lady. Says she who knows: “Virginity is an overrated virtue. Literally nobody cares…. Young women are having a lot of pre-marital sex, and from what I hear, they plan to continue.” Isn’t that rich? And where did this female of the species hear that a lot of unmarried young women are enjoying a lot of pre-marital sex? Was this news obligingly provided to her by the newspaper which saw it fit to print this piece? Or did she learn this from her BFFs?

The crowning glory of this precious piece is the lady’s sage advice to mothers who know about their daughters having pre-marital sex,—”your job is to tell them to slip on a condom.” Satiricus is wonder-struck, because this is wonderful advice for advancing Indian ladies excelling even advanced French females. For Satiricus recalls that some years ago, a French mother came in for a lot of flak in the French media, when she openly bought condoms for her unmarried daughter. But of course that does not matter for this advanced Indian “non-parent” who has recommended this French mother as a role model for Indian mothers. All in all, how Satiricus wishes he could stop being a backward Bharatiya writing routine rot and become an advanced Indian writing such admirably advanced rot, such terrific tommyrot, such breath-taking bilge.

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