Intelligent Macaulay- Manasputras
India that is Bharat
SATIRICUS is an Indian. But he is not an intelligent Indian. So it follows that he is also not an Indian intelligent. In fact, he did not even know that while there can be intelligent Indians, there can also be Indian intelligents. In this respect he shares his ignorance of the English language with the Oxford English Dictionary, where “intelligent” is only an adjective, not a noun either singular or plural. A case of singular ignorance, says Satiricus. Fortunately for us Indian Macaulay-mānasputras, the good lord taught us better English than the Oxford dictionary knows which is proved by the fact that an Indian newspaper, proudly calling itself “nominally” Indian, is currently appealing to the “Indian intelligent”, through big advertisements of itself in its own columns, to buy it to read it. Now Satiricus does not know if this paper’s non-stop blitz to sell itself will lead to more sales than the sales of the cough syrup or tooth paste it advertises, but that is probably because he is not an intelligent Indian, much less an Indian intelligent.
But suppose—just suppose—Satiricus had been not only an intelligent Indian but an Indian intelligent as well, what would he have predicted, a year ago, would happen if, the secular gods forbid, Modi the Menace hit us like a ton of bricks ? To borrow the answer from a certain Indian unintelligent writing recently against us “brainboxes” in this journal, we intelligents had firmly forecast the following: Apocalypse would descend on the country. The heavens would come crashing down. The earth would sink beneath our feet. India would be transformed into a boiling cauldron of fratricidal religious disharmony. Hindus will butcher Muslins. Minorities will leave India in droves. The economy will implode. India will become an ostracized international pariah. A full year has gone by, and what happened? Nothing! Why? Because, to quote the quotable two-word beginning of an article a well-known Indian intelligent wrote just after the election result—”We goofed!” What did (and does) that show? That intelligent Indians have more intelligence that Indian intelligents. Putting it differently, it means Indian intelligents do not know what Bharatiya bird-brains do.