Height of Hypocrisy
India that is Bharat
BEING a devout secularist, Satiricus firmly holds that your secularism is no secularism if you don’t wear it on your sleeve. And what is the sleeve of a newspaper? Naturally the front-page headline. So it was quite in the fitness of things for a newspaper practising newspapering of anti-communal courage to give the news of Yakub’s hanging with a screaming banner headline—“And they hanged Yakub”. Ah, THEY ! The world is made up of two classes of people—Them and Us. “Us” is of course the blessed believers in secularism, while “They” are the abominable anti-secularists, the cussed communalists.
So they hanged Yakub, us didn’t. And who are these They? They are the President of India, the Supreme Court of India, the lawyers who gave Yakub every legal latitude, and the investigators who spent years establishing Yakub’s role in getting the guns that slaughtered Indians. But did what he did make him a terrorist? Only in the jaundiced eyes of They. So this Indian newspaper, righteous representative of Us Secularists, courageously conducted a campaign of giving news only against Yakub’s execution.
And why was there no news in favour of it? Because no news is good news, that is, no communal news is good secular news. But do “They” understand this simple rule of secular newspapering? Alas, no—not even those benighted anti-secular souls reading this newspaper “all my life”, as a letter to its editor put it. Naturally, secular Satiricus was honestly aghast at one of them writing “your headline was the height of hypocrisy”, and Satiricus was also disgusted with another reader writing that the Yakub headline “was disgusting”. What can Satiricus say? He can only say that he is honestly, not hypocritically, delighted, not disgusted, at this exquisite example of oh-so-secular journalism.